Agnus Dei
by Ruingaraf
Summary: "Every life was held up by a single string, and I had the scissors." Kira-centric thoughts, set in the later chapters. Rated for clear insanity and ideologically sensitive material.


"Agnus Dei"

Fandom: Death Note  
Rating: T  
Summary: "Every life was held up by a single string, and I had the scissors." Kira-centric thoughts, set in the later chapters. Rated for clear insanity and ideologically sensitive material.  
Notes: I can't believe I just wrote this. Please note that Light's beliefs do not coincide with my own. This is kind of my personal tribute to the series of Death Note, and the beautifully portrayed insanity of the main character. If it rambles and the ending seems sudden, I blame Light's insanity.

* * *

If L had gotten off his damn pedestal once, just once, and used the Death Note, he would have been on my side. As it was, he could never understand.

Why? Because with the Note, you are no longer human. I cannot describe in words the fleeting, euphoric feeling that it grants, being able to simply watch humans walk by on the street, talking, chattering, unsuspecting. Innocent lambs trotting by, clueless of the lion hidden in their midst. With a few simple pen-strokes, I could watch as their feeble body's strings were cut and they dropped to the ground as a lifeless marionette, twitching, coughing a little, then ceasing to move. Every life was held up by a single string, and I had the scissors. And if I acted the part, no one suspected me at all. I was just another innocent passerby at the time when God's wrath struck from heaven. After all, _I_ wasn't standing there with my knife in that woman's ribs, was I? No, I was an innocent college student doing homework on a park bench, moved close to tears by this seemingly _random _slaughter. I was God in human skin, walking on a higher plane while the lesser creatures suffered. Each lamb stepped heavily, waded through waist-deep water while only I was granted the power to walk on the surface, bending life and death to my will and my glory.

Humans are such feeble, violent creatures. They need a master to rein them in and force Justice upon them for their own good, or else it will never be achieved. So a few lives are lost in the process, what of it? Even untouched, people are ticking time-bombs, and it is better to eliminate the bad seeds before they spawn more death and hate where they sprout.

The one drawback of the note is that with every life cut short, your own body feels the effects. Early on, I suffered from increasingly disturbing nightmares, which I attributed to mild PSTD that would pass, given time. It was not until Ryuk informed me that there was a supernatural element involved that I gave it another thought. Constant fatigue and chronic flu-like symptoms had become completely normal. It is remarkable what a human being can become used to, given time. Vomiting, five, six, seven times a day failed to slow me down with the knowledge that I was improving the world. It made sense, however, that the symptoms were supernatural, since by that point I had rid myself of the sediment that killing is a sin, and therefore eliminated any possibility that it could be a psychological backlash on my body. It is the intent that is a sin, the intent to worsen the world. If one kills to better the world, then it is a heavenly act. In the European Crusades, the church even adopted this belief, with the slogan 'Kill an infidel and go to Heaven'.

I fail to understand why humans compared Kira with the devil, if in fact he was truly the one closest to God.

They say the Pope is the holiest man on Earth, but each and every one of them carries sins greater than the sheep that they lead. So the Holy Way is for the blind to lead the blind? And if each man carries his sins like a stone on his back, how is it that a man who molests children or participated in Hitler Youth any better off to lead than an infant? The Church is supposed to bring justice, and instead it has become the largest sin of the world, corrupt with money and power. No, these men are beneath me, they are the worst sort. The Church is built on lies, and I cannot stand for that.

Who is he to lead? He does nothing but raise his filthy sinner's hand and proclaim that he has saved all who believe! _I_ should be in his place! They speak of the Lord's Second Coming, and yet they condemn him rather than greet him with open arms!

The Day of Reckoning is coming, and Kira will brand all sinners with the Devils' mark and set their souls aflame. Only the faithful with survive and receive His mercy.


End file.
